Draco Malfoy The Boy Who Dies Inside
by WhenIfandomShinigumi12
Summary: This is a story of the untold tragedy of Draco's whole life their is forbidden love, death and oh so much more but I'm not saying who or with who? But or will be revealed. Hope you enjoy.AN-I'm horrible at summaries so don't judge based on it.
1. Chapter 1The boy's Father is pure

Draco Malfoy The Boy Who

Dies inside 

**Hay just giving you a heads up this is my first fanfiction and I hope you like it and yeah also this is the first Chapter so don't expect too much but know it will get better in time.**

**Chapter one. The boy's Father is pure**

As A child I was brought up to think that pure bloods were superior, that he was superior and above all that Lord Voldermort would cure the world of all the filthy mudbloods by brutally slaughtering them like the filth they are.

When I was young my father would tell me stories of how they kill pure bloods and steal their children away of course they were all prejudice lies to brain wash me but at that age I would believe anything my father said.

Father would never hug me or kiss me goodnight I knew he loved me but of course it is not dignified for a pure blood family father to give those sorts of affection to their children.

But my mother was allowed and she did so quite regularly but the gap in my heart was deep from this so I tried my hardest to be just like him so I would win his affection all I wanted was a hug.

This intern made me a snobby eleven year old indeed, at the end a quite fitting stereotypical pure blood family son and that was my aim in life.

Blinded In my hubris ways and snobby superiority and not mention money I didn't have friends as a child only cronies that had to like me because my father was a higher ranking deatheater.

I was so overjoyed to get my letter to Hogwarts, my farther told me everything about which house I will go into and how he learnt his magic there and best of all the Quiditch teams my favourite sport in the world.

Also my father told me that if I did not receive a letter I would be disowned and kicked out because he would not be seen with a squib son.

Another reason going into this school particular meant that he would finally met Harry Potter the one my father feared the most, he did not specify why but he wanted me to make friends with the boy saying if I did I would get what I wanted most in the world.

I was so pleased at the thought I started nagging my mother to get ready for heading down to Diagon ally at once, not knowing that my first encounter with the infamous boy who lived would be sooner rather than later.

**I'm new to the this so don't judge if it's not amazing but it will get better as it progresses and it will get better This is just the intro ;) and I don't won't to it rush and make it not make any sense so yeah. I hope you enjoyed and that you can't wait for the next chapter**


	2. Chapter 2A curious boy

**I kind of thought I would be nice and make another chapter again it's not in the juicy stuff yet but it really sets the scene**

**Chapter2. A curious boy**

The first place we went to was Madam Malkin's, Father went to get my books and mother for my wand so I was stuck getting pinned up at Malkin's.

Whilst she was pinning me right and left another boy walked in he was going to Hogwarts too so the Hag put him next to me, He could be a Mudblood I thought to myself, if he is my farther will hear about this.

The boy was rather scrawny wearing muggle clothes two times too big and a pair of worn looking glasses, a shaggy hair cut and an oddly familiar scar.

I decided that It would be necessary to know his birth origins if I were to make a better plea to my farther so Started some idle chit-chat talking about Quiditch a sport the boy didn't even know, School Houses he didn't seem to know of either, Gossip about the grounds keeper that seemed to offend him, stumbling upon the fact that his parents were dead and to top it all off I Think he was a mudblood lover.

Because when I brought up that I don't think that they should be allowed at the school because of their insufficient knowledge of the magic world I could see the boy's face wince.

All I got from the conversation was that his parents were both wizards so he could not complain to his farther for that but he still was annoying and that was just course to flaunt my Father's power.

Before the boy left I saw him with the oaf grounds keeper but something was strange I saw the boy smile at the man.

I had never smiled when I saw someone ever unless it was because they had a present behind their back, I guessed the ice cream counted but he wasn't smiling at the ice cream he was smiling right at him .

All in all the meeting was curious to say the least.

A potential pureblood Liking muggles and mudbloods was I thought that made me shudder but that smile he gave to his friend made me wonder if **Real Friends** were as good as presents.

When I finally met back with my parents we were off going to lunch with my new school cronies, two boys named Crabe and Goyle their father's lower ranking but they were big guys who would do as I said so I took them on.

I knew that I would never be friends with them they were thick sculled and weren't good at adding to conversation.

No I was to find this new found thing I didn't have with some other higher class wizarding family boy maybe that boy at Malkin's would turn his Mudblood ways if I showed him the way.

Then he could teach me how to smile like that and maybe teach me how to be friend that potter boy if he was better than crony material.

I couldn't sleep that night only thinking about how I was going to convert that boy and pondering the new found thing I wanted.

Not as much as my father's affections but it was second inline that and being the youngest on the slitherin Quiditch team.

**Hope you enjoyed and don't know when I'll make another chapter but I will**


	3. Chapter 3The boy who's Face Has a Name

**Chapter3. The boy who's Face Has a Name**

The day I went to the Hogwarts train had arrived and I was Brimming with excitement.

We were first to get on so we didn't have to bump into muggles and mudbloods on the way.

Farther didn't go to see me off but mother did, her eyes swelled with tears as the train left the station.

The only thing missing from this day was my Farther but I was used to disappointment from him so I set off on my adventure to find The Boy Who Lived.

Getting my lackeys to do the ground work I sat in the cart waiting and thinking of things to say.

When they found out what cart he was in I strode over with both lackeys at hand and there he was through the glass… Potter?

Potter was the same boy at Malkin's I wasn't expecting this so I decided in panic to act like I hadn't seen him before and casually walked in.

I again started chit-chat but again with no avail.

He seemed to be a bit worried about my cronies and I noticed he was sitting next to a Weasley the worst type of pure blood there is, muggle loving it is going to be hard to convert this boy indeed.

I made a joke about the weasley's family to cut the tension but for once in my life no one laughed.

But that didn't stop me I went ahead and asked if he would let me tell him the good sort from the bad and that went down like a bucket of slugs.

He said "I think I can tell the wrong sort for myself"

I couldn't help it this was the first time this has happened.

No one dared ever to speak to me like that not even my own mother.

In a way it made me won't to be his friend even more.

I turned a pink colour and said the most snide and horrible blackmail I could.

I wanted to take it back as soon as I said it but was too late both the boys were standing up in courage and I In my arrogance made it worse by nearly starting a fight.

But it didn't happen because I could hear footsteps.

Deciding not to start a fight when a potential teacher was coming we left quickly and silently as we could.

So the first step of my plan didn't work so well but nevertheless I would do as my father asked.

So devised a plan of a more indirect manner as we were paddling to Hogwarts.

But to my disguised when we finally got to sorting everyone Potter went to Gryffindor on his own request.

The slitherins arch enemy was an understatement.

The only upside out of that day was that I was in the house I belonged to Slitherin and I always knew I would as I was related to a deatheater.

A servant to the heir of slitherin so there was only one place for me.

That and my farther may have bribed the hat.

The day had ended and I was in my private bed chambers going over my plan I called it operation make him jealous of my power and money so he would won't to be friends with me not a very catchy name I know but I wasn't a creative boy.

Little did I know that it was not the way to make real friends and potter is either a real friend or enemy nothing in between so my journey was made out for me at the very beginning.

**Hay next chapter done I'm on a roll since it's holidays there is a point for my taking so long to get to the good stuff and that is because I won't explain in my opinion on how it would have played out for him so it makes sense .XD**


	4. Chapter 4Failures end in obsession

**Chapter 4. Failures end in obsession**

As soon as we could send owls I was sending a message to my farther to send as many gifts as possible to make that potter boy jealous.

I knew he would accept because it would be the same thing he would do.

I also decided to spy on him whilst he was at his table eating breakfast to find out more about him.

Making a snide remark every time my Lackey's or potter himself caught me to keep my cover.

It became rather an obsession like watching a wizarding play at the theatre.

Seeing them laugh not forcefully, joke and horse around, liking Potter for who he was.

The more I watched the more I pined for what Potter had.

Maybe not with those people he was socializing with but some people like them and maybe just maybe they aren't so bad.

Because though granger was a mudblood she had an incredible amount of knowledge about the wizarding world and in fact it surpasses my own by miles.

Also that Weasley boy seemed to have a certain type of loyalty to harry that also surpasses my lackey's by far you could tell in his eyes.

A certain admiration and loyalty mixed together.

My plan wasn't working and I think my plans were making my relationship with him worse by the time the twelfth package arrived.

Making the gap between us bigger and soon it would be an ocean.

I did not think it would happen so quickly but I knew next to nothing that was true at that age.

Potter became the Quiditch seeker for Gryffindor because of my bullying behaviour to long bottom and not to soon after he took down a full grown mountain troll with his friends on the night of the big panic.

I wanted nothing more than to congratulate him because I guess for the first time in my life I admired someone who wasn't my farther but instead I just made out that I was jealous and I was to a point.

I couldn't be seen congratulating a Gryffindor for everyone would judge and word would soon reach my farther and I won't him to be proud of me more than anything.

But I was starting to doubt if I was doing the right thing.

If my father was right or was it just his opinion being forced on me?

This thought made me confused as a kid because if that was the case then my whole life was a lie?

**It's A bit of a short chapter because I started making another chapter whilst Making this one so I'm uploading to at once**


	5. Chapter 5An open mind?

**Chapter5. An open Mind?**

After Dinner one night I decided to take a stroll down to the grounds keeper because sometimes it was nice to see another play and the oaf warm smile had grown on me.

So I took off telling my cronies that I was doing something that farther told me to do so they wouldn't question me.

There was something wrong about that night and I could feel it as soon as I saw the door adjacent that lead to the grounds Keepers Fields And to my surprise the best play of all was happening at his house tonight.

Potter, Granger and Weasley had slipped out to visit and the grounds keeper but my show was short lived as Potter spotted me through the window.

Not knowing what to do I ran back to the castle and I accidently bumped into Filch e so to save my own skin I blurted out everything and I wished I hadn't but I was so startled by the encounter.

I had never seen Filch outside the castle his.

silhouette gave an airy glow to his concave face.

It didn't save my skin at all I just made things worse for other people not to mention one of them being the person I so desperately wanted to be friends with.

We were sent to do Detention with the Grounds Keeper for punishment and that detention would haunt me for the rest of my days.

I was so frightened I didn't attempt to make amends or explain my puzzling situation whilst alone with potter.

Instead I kept my instinctive snobby tone up so I could focus on not sprinting away with every noise I heard.

And when I finally got my chance to show Potter that I didn't care just for myself I ran away like a coward leaving the beast that killed a unicorn to kill Harry!

From that day forward I decided to call all of them by their first name in my head because they deserved it and that no one could hear his thoughts anyway.

Hagrid and the others found me and they calmed me down enough to tell them how much of a coward I was and where harry was now.

Not too soon after a man horse thing named Firenze had harry and they were off to report their findings to Professor Dumbledore and leaving me behind.

There was something about harry that made everyone seem to want to help him on his quest whatever that maybe.

Anyone with a heart and an open mind and that was exactly what was slowly happening to me.

Yes I was starting to have open mind, me!

Draco Malfoy the son and heir of Lucius Malfoy and the person who is supposed to be closed minded to new ideas and stubborn in the opinion of ancestors past was thinking in a way that wasn't traditional at all.

Mudbloods being potential friends, the Weasleys being right? And any one them being friend Material.

The big deal breaker that Mudbloods aren't bad as my farther made them out to be!

Hermione was kind, loyal, smart and a very good person the exact opposite to what I was brought up thinking Mudbloods were.

But this wouldn't do He was supposed to turn harry not the other way round and this meant that my aim of having that fatherly affection I strived for all my life would never happen.

I had failed my unattainable quest of affection I would never get but I still couldn't afford showing people of my new found leaf now that I was slitherin and the problem of my family not accepting me for my new found open mind was another thing.

They'd throw into the streets if they found out.

Old habits die hard and this habit would die harder since I had to feed it to keep from me from suspicion.

How would this work out in the long run?

The year was nearly over when Harry hadn't shown up for three days to breakfast.

I went to the hospital wing to see how he was doing since the nurse assured me he was knocked out called from his rumoured fight with my father's master.

I think was it ridiculous since father would have known if he was alive but it still made me worry.

He was peaceful in his slumber but I didn't dear stay long because would have been at risk of being caught so I left BertyBotts Every Flavoured Beans and said that I hoped he would get better soon.

Then Darting out of the room I accidently bumped into Professor Dumbledore as I seemed to have a habit of bumping into people at the wrong times that year I just kept running hoped he didn't notice where I just came from my to be friend Harry Potter.


	6. Chapter 6 My to be Friends

**Chapter 6. My to be friends**

When school was out though I couldn't practise being kind with anyone at home I could when we went to Diagon alley.

I would say a horrible comment to the poor people to get my parents off my back then sneak back when my parents weren't looking an give them money.

If I said something bad about being a mudblood to anyone I would write them an apology letter and send it through Doby the house elf.

Doby was a kind elf but I couldn't be seen being nice to him so I would tell him that he was doing a good job then put a simple forgetting potion on his ear so he would forget the last five seconds as it was the only thing I could do.

Also in the holidays I found out that the word mudblood was a derogatory term and is frowned upon when said.

I found that out the hard way when a lady refused my apology and gave me a howler but passing it off as a thing a pureblood son would do Lucius congratulated me.

When I came back home I never called my farther farther ever again because he never acted like one should act and I didn't care anymore.

When I finally got back to Hogwarts I asked professor Flitwick about a simple secrecy charms for paper because on two occasions I nearly got caught by my parents when some to be friends (mudbloods as I shall call them now in secret) came up to me forgetting why I sent them a letter rather than telling them.

But it was not a simple charm at all in fact he wasn't great at it himself!

The only person he could think of that could help me figure out this spell with her fantastic research skills would be Hermione.

I thought to myself that he probably could have taught me but he was quiet busy for such a small man and he knew that if I really wanted to do this type of magic I would need dedication and what better to test that than sending him to taught by a to be friend.

But in fact this wasn't a test a test all he has been begging for a turn to show one of Harry's friends how he had turned a new leaf and this was his time.

Professor gave me a note that would be sure to peck her interest about extra credit and I was off to the library running as fast as my feet would permit.

When I finally reached the library I saw some slitherins at the far table this would ruin everything but that wouldn't stop me I found Hermione at the far corner looking up how to potions books and that's when it clicked.

He could help her with potions as he was pretty good at it in return for Charms help if the extra credit doesn't peck her interest.

I said hello as nice as I could do without being over heard and gave her the note.

She said that she would won't more than just extra credit to help me out and that's when I dropped that I could help her with potions.

Remembering how close she was to not getting the best mark possible last year she was happy to help.

Well not happy she sighed but agreed.

* * *

**Another chapter done a bit short but I am doing two today **


	7. Chapter 7Hermione would need to know

**Chapter7. Hermione would need to know**

She made a detailed schedule in which the times we would meet to make sure our friends didn't find out because if harry and Ron found she was helping me it would be as welcomed as if I was to tell my friends.

After potions we would go separate ways but both meet at the abandoned potions classroom so I could help her practise what we learnt that day and after my charms we would meet at the library to research this spell.

I couldn't be sure no one was listening in the library so I had to put in some nasty comments here and there to make sure no one would question me which didn't make anything better between us and didn't help my crusade to become a better person.

I knew she only held contempt for our meetings but she deemed them necessary

Even when we were alone in the potions room I couldn't help myself but to say something rude and I couldn't draw attention to the fact that I was trying to be a better person.

Not at least until I mastered secrecy charms that is.

Because I realized though how much I wanted it Lucius is a deatheater and potter wouldn't stand for keeping my secret and neither would Ron but maybe in time they would.

But first I would explain to Hermione but the question was when?

After a few weeks we found the perfect book from the library to learn from.

Madam Merchant's Guide to keeping some things secret it was called and it had a very detailed part about paper charms.

We asked Professor Flitwick if we could use his classroom to practise in once a week and he more than obliged but he had to sit in for every practise for safety.

We tried again and again but with no prospects until we read the fine print which entailed the weird stance you had to be in with your legs facing inwards.

The first time I tried the stance I fell right on Flitwick which intern made Flitwick fall on Hermione and for the first time I actually laughed without forcing it was the happiest moment in my whole life.

**Better** than the first time I flew my broomstick, **better** than my first little league Quiditch match, **better** than the thought of my farther hugging me.

I helped Hermione up calling by granger whilst doing it to keep up my act but I think Hermione started to see it crumble.

After half the year I final had mastered the spell and for my first charm I made a letter thanking Hermione and explaining my situation which also entailed that I would still help her with her potions intern for some more charms lessons.

After it was done I waited for our last potion lesson together then slipped into her robe pocket when she was too busy to notice, knowing that she could not tell, discuss or show the paper to anyone not even me I left the classroom and hoped for her understand.

The next potions class was the longest a potions class could have ever been but when it was over it was a flush of relief when I saw Hermione waiting for me I guess she would be my friend after all.


	8. Chapter 8 My trust is broken

**Chapter8. My trust was broken**

After that day we decided to do charms lessons in the same abandoned potions room so Flitwick could back to helping other students who needed it more and we didn't go to the library much because I bought every book we needed so no one could listen in.

We also found a spell to make the room invisible to anyone who hadn't been in it before assuming that not many people had been in the room we could speak freely.

We would study hard and practise hard with a few mishaps and laugh mixed in it was very pleasant.

Sometimes I would speak like I was a pureblood snob but I would soon snap out of it and Hermione knew I was trying me best.

One day she asked about a potion that could turn someone into some on else.

I found that an odd question but I had seen I passage in a book at home with that exact potion and I asked my mother for it in my next letter home.

Hermione was so pleased when I brought the book in the next day she gave me a big hug that seem to take the bad out of me with one big squeeze.

This was when the gap in my heart was filled with something better than a pureblood fathers hug.

**Friendship** and I was so happy that she didn't see my tear roll down my check because it would have spoiled the moment and I wanted to remember this particular one **forever**.

I helped her understand parts of the book that were worn and unexplainable with reason.

Also I told her where to get the ingredients not daring to ask my parents because those items would seem suspicious to even a Pureblood family.

She never asked me to help her prepare the potion and I did offer on several occasions

But she turned them down saying that I can't get involved because I'm not supposed to know about it in the first place.

One day whilst making a cure boils potion she asked about the chamber of secrets and I told her what I knew which was very little but she didn't seem satisfied with my answer but I just brushed the thought off and ignored that nagging feeling.

One day I when Crab and Goyle were taking an especially long time getting back I Remembered the last time this happened.

When they had forgotten the password and nearly broke down the door.

I headed down to the great hall to see if they were still pigging out on desert.

But when I turned the corner they were in front of me.

Probably forgot the way again big on the outside a walnut sized brain on the inside just like their uncle the dinosaurs and you know what happened to them.

Something was strange though when we got to the common room they seemed to be offended by my Weasley joke of the day (to keep the wondering at bay) and when they asked about the chamber of secrets it felt as if Hermione was asking again.

It was very different for those two idiots to think about something other than their stomachs but I obliged the same answer that gave Hermione except in a more derogatory bias smutty tone.

Then came the weird part Crab started growing **GINGER HAIR**!

They ran out as soon as they noticed the change happening and I was left there utterly bemused.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks Hermione didn't trust my answer No scratch that SHE DIDN'T TRUST ME!

The next day when I saw those three together I said as many offending thing I COULD I MY ANGER.

THEN WHEN GRAGNER WENT TO PICK RON UP FROM HIS BACK FIRING SLUG SPELL I CALLED HER A "FILTHY LITTLE MUDBLOOD" and she knew instinctively why.

She looked sad and guilty for what she did and walked away.

I wanted to call her back and apologise but I was still so MAD I couldn't bring myself to do it.

That's the day I realized that even good people still had a little bit of darkness inside them.

Darkness that could make them act as if they were Lucius.

**Bitter**,** spiteful **and **UN** trust worthy.

* * *

**Thing are starting to get interesting no ;)**


	9. Chapter 9 Trust is a fickle thing

**Chapter 9 Trust is a fickle thing**

My nights were not cheerful without my friend.

It was weeks before I could even stand the look of that room but wounds do heal and I was to venture into that room again because things weren't the same without a friend to cheer you up.

Hoping on hope that she was there I dashed to the room but not surprised on its emptiness I did say the most awful thing I could think of to her and that saying something since I'm first inline for the derogatory throne of the Malfoy's.

I decided I would stay and hope that she would wonder in but after an hour I had given up all hope.

Just before I could reach the door knob to leave it slammed open and a red faced panting Hermione bustled out but tripped on her grand entrance falling straight on top of the stack of books next to the door.

I helped her up as she almost screamed apologies it seemed her knee was cut up from the fall.

Her face covered in tears from the aching wound.

I wiped them off and gave her a big hug telling her how I could never stay mad at my only real friend and how sorry I was for saying such a Despicable thing.

I looked at her wound and remembered that cuts and scratches healing potion mother had bought me (because she cared for my safety too much sometimes) and I passed it to Granger (since she needed to regain my trust so I saw it fitting to put a name wall up again) and asked her to stop dilly dallying and start thinking of the next potions test.

Hermione didn't look sad anymore knowing she had a second chance was more than enough for her.

And let's just say that particular year went as quick as it came and I was happy to see the Hogwarts building again the next year following.

* * *

**Don't worry theirs more to come I have only finished the first two books**


	10. Chapter 10 Too close for comfort

**Chapter ten: too close but maybe some comfort**

The next year there were more exams and more spell practicals than ever.

And I needed more help than ever but Hermione always found time which I found quite interesting indeed.

She couldn't be in two places at once I said to myself but it doesn't explain why she can be in ancient Runes and divination.

Me and Hermione had become I guess close friends.

We both liked to study in silence but I needed some help to understand some things.

But she had away with explaining things that would make a philosopher cry which made the whole situation a chaos of frustration and laughter.

We would chat more when I taught her potions because there were half an hour intervals so the pot could simmer.

We would talk about some of the things Hermione's friends get up too and let me just say that their antics were that of a fantastic wizarding novel.

Sometimes she would pass me a paper so I couldn't tell anyone what they did and I'm happy she does because that means I can unload some of the things that bother me by writing too.

Finally someone who really listens or reads as it came to be.

It was like an oasis of complete happiness.

To leave Malfoy at the door and be Draco for once I wished it could last forever but forever is a long time.

We sometimes had arguments though about telling Harry or me telling people who I really am and it would lead back to explaining why I can't and her not listening.

But on one occasion the fight lasted to long and ended in something awkward to say the least.

We were measuring porcupine quills when she said that "The way you talk about Harry is as if you're in love with him".

A strange shiver went down my spine as if someone had blown on my neck.

"I cringe at the thought" I snapped back as kick as it slipped out of her mouth

"ewwww hit a nerve did I" she said as snide as I would be out of class

"CUT IT OUT HERMIONE"

"So this is why you can't stand the thought of telling them ha? A crush" This thought was like a sting to my soul just thinking about it.

I darted out of the room soaked in salty bitter tears of nasty comments.

I think my other side is blackening my friend's heart I thought to myself.

Then next time a came back to the class room the fight raged on even though I had left about a week ago.

She was hitting my nervous system with a thousand bricks with each word as I tried to tell her how ludicrous she was being.

"SO TELL ME WHY YOU DON'T WON'T ME TO TELL THEM THEN". She said hostilely

Even though I was angry and frustrated I couldn't bear the thought of telling Hermione the whole truth so I told as much as I knew for sure was real.

**"****Because I don't want to compete with the other two for your time you happy now" I said clearly and calmly as I could but I couldn't hide the fact that I was frustrated.**

Her face looked like a stunned wilder beast gazing into my soul.

She said nothing for a while then just acted like we never had the confiscation and we started on our venture of studying again.


End file.
